


Notice, Watch, Observe, See, Wonder, Think, Help

by LocalChaoticMistake



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Character Study, Eating Disorders, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Minor Character Death, Someone give Kyoya a hug please, The host club loves and supports each other, vent - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:47:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25891579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LocalChaoticMistake/pseuds/LocalChaoticMistake
Summary: Haruhi notices. Kyoya watches. Honey observes. Mori sees. Hikaru wonders. Kaoru thinks.Tamaki helps.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 62





	Notice, Watch, Observe, See, Wonder, Think, Help

**Author's Note:**

> This one in all honesty is a bit of a vent as I'm sure you'll see. Please be careful reading this. It's not dark or graphic, but it does have some explicit mentions of eating disorders and of hospital settings.  
> Please do not read this if you think it will harm you or put you in a bad mental state.
> 
> Love y'all take care

Haruhi notices things.

Haruhi finds that she blends in. She can stand directly in front of someone and they still won’t see her. Some people would find it frustrating, in fact she closely knows six people who would find it extremely frustrating. But to Haruhi, it’s normal. It’s comforting. So she sits and she notices things about her mother’s condition, her peers, her school, and her club. 

Haruhi’s five when her mom passes away. Her skin is cold when Haruhi holds her hand and she notices how exhausted she looks when her mom gives her a squeeze.  
She’s five, but it’s not hard to notice the somber stares in the room. How they visit her mom more frequently. How her dad tells her mom ‘i love you’ more often. He goes from saying it when they arrive in the white chemical-smelling room and when they leave to saying it after every sentence.  
She notices when the beeps on the machine, a heart rate monitor she learns later, get farther and farther apart. Haruhi notices how the nurses don’t leave the room anymore. They stand in the corner continuously watching her mom’s tired chest slowly rise and fall.

Haruhi doesn’t blend in as much anymore. From the moment she broke that vase and was donned in an Ouran uniform, the boy’s uniform specifically though that word doesn’t mean much to Haruhi, she’s now a host. That seems to convey a level of respect and admiration as she’s more often waved to in the halls. She receives love letters and chocolates and expensive gifts. But regardless of her new crowd of giggling fangirls and admirers Haruhi still notices things.

Maybe it was easier when she was just another face in the crowd. She understands now how people miss the little things. In a school like Ouran where the kids are rarely reprimanded, the halls can be obnoxiously loud. From the constant orchestra to the boasting of young socialites, it’s rarely quiet. Even in their small club, it’s harder to notice things. Each table boasts its own hoard of screaming fans, albeit some louder than others, and the little things can go unnoticed.

Haruhi sees them though. In the brief moments when she thinks about something interesting to talk to her clients about. When she goes to fetch tea or coffee. In the rare moments when she’s free to wander for a little bit. Rotating around to talk with her fellow hosts. Haruhi notices things.

Haruhi notices Honey. She notices how he acts around the other hosts. How quick he is to ask for orders and how despite his cute persona he is one of the most efficient members. She notices how his shoulders slump for a second when someone mentions his brother. How talk of graduation dims the continuous shine in his eyes. How everyone refers to him as Honey, per his request.  
She notices his small acts of rebellion. From his usage of chan in regards to his classmates to Usa-chan. He respects and honors his family, but she notices that he doesn’t fully submit to their expectations for him. Haruhi notices how genuinely happy Honey is when Tamaki talks about a new cake flavor or sweet to try.

Haruhi notices Kyoya. She notices how he holds himself, always busy. Looking for something to do even when he already has fifteen ongoing projects and tasks to attend to. She notices how flawlessly each of those tasks gets done. She notices how the bags under his eyes are barely visible, only revealed by a smear of melted makeup when the club’s themes are too warm.  
Haruhi notices how he tenses when he receives a call from his family. If it’s his sister he raises his chin. If it’s one of his brothers his jaw clenches. His mom and his back straightens. When it’s from his father he does everything he can to look presentable. Even if his father can’t hear him he still acts his best and above that.  
Haruhi also notices the slight flinch when someone raises their hand towards him. Anyone other than a client or Tamaki receives a cold glare.

Haruhi notices Mori. She notices how strong his presence is. Anyone else would be forgotten sitting as quietly as he does. But she notices that despite that it would be impossible for someone not to see him. She notices his quiet observations and she’d be lying if she said they never saw something odd about another host then made eye contact. She notices how he seems to figure out everything in a room as soon as he enters it. Whether this is from kendo or from his family’s history of servitude she doesn’t know.  
Haruhi notices how his eyes flicker over to Honey when talk of graduation comes up. She notices how somber his eyes are when someone asks him what he plans to do. Haruhi notices how all of his answers dance around Honey. Never including him, yet somehow never excluding him from his answers either. She notices how he cherishes the host club. For the time he gets to spend protecting his cousin before they’re separated by life. She notices how thankful he seems to Tamaki when he places the two together for photo-shoots and events.

Haruhi notices Kaoru. She notices how quiet he can be in his mischief. Someone watching less carefully might not see how he whispers plans in his brother’s ears or when he carefully snatches an item away when Hikaru distracts the owner. She notices how quiet he seems when he’s not finishing his brother’s thoughts. How he barely speaks up if he’s not adding on or completing Hikaru’s sentences.  
Haruhi notices how his side of the table always seems to remain empty despite how many deserts were placed on it. How he replaces Hikaru’s empty plate with his untouched one. She notices the darts around his jacket’s torso and elbows. How thin and stringy his hair looks though it’s harder to tell now without the shinier and thicker reflection standing next to him. She notices how he wobbles when he stands up. She notices how he has to stop to catch his breath now when he and Hikaru get chased around by Tamaki. She notices the grateful looks he gives to the head host when he pretends to lose them for a minute.

Haruhi notices Hikaru. She notices how much he’s grown since she first met him. Back when his sentences were often finished by his brother. Back when his eyes lit up the first time the other hosts referred to him by his name, first try without guessing. She notices how much effort he puts into his hair. How his roots never show peaks of ginger. How each strand is picked through carefully to not miss any. She notices how often he glances towards his brother. Trying to find jokes that land without needing another to complete the punchline. How sometimes when he’s tired or isn’t thinking he leaves thoughts hanging in the air.  
Haruhi notices how loud he can be. Not just in his words, but in his actions. Each one is impulsive and strong. Impossible to be ignored. She wonders if this comes from a lifetime of being ignored and trying to find a way to get people’s eyes on him. She notices the way his eyes light up when Tamaki bickers with him.

_Haruhi notices when Kaoru stays home sick more often. Hikaru attends school like normal, no longer staying behind with his brother. She notices how much quieter the older twin is. She notices how the younger twin is missing from school for four days straight. She notices how one day during club hours, Hikaru answers his phone and his face goes as white as the china teacup that shatters on the ground. Haruhi notices how he grabs his bag and runs out of the room without a word of goodbye to the other hosts or clients. She notices how Hikaru reads but doesn’t respond to their worried texts. She notices how Kaoru doesn’t even read them._

Haruhi notices Tamaki. She notices Tamaki a lot. She notices how lovingly he talks about his mom. She notices the pain in his eyes and the forced smile when someone mentions his dad. She notices that he never brings up his dad in conversation. She notices how his fantasies always seem to feel just realistic enough to sound like something he was told over and over. How maybe he refers to the host club as a family because that’s what he envisions one to be like.  
Haruhi notices how passionately he talks about the club. She notices how excited he gets when he talks about recruiting each of the members. She notices how he watches the others. How he goes out of his way to make sure they’re okay. From telling Kyoya when he’s going to hug him, to giving Honey more cake after his brother visits, to deliberately giving Mori and Honey joint tasks, to making sure Kaoru’s okay, to playfully bickering with Hikaru to keep him entertained. 

Haruhi notices people’s problems. Tamaki helps people through them.


End file.
